2025 Coffee Horoscopes

2025 Coffee Horoscopes

By C+S Crew

2025 Coffee Horoscopes

ESPRESSO

In the words of Sabrina Carpenter, "Say you can't sleep, baby, I know, that's that me espresso", and it's oh so fitting for you, Aries, as you charge through whatever your day (or night) brings, leaving onlookers in your wake. Casually climbing Rainier? Writing a book? Starting a business? Just slam a shot or three, no milky fluff needed to soften your coffee; you're good to go. 
    
   

LATTE

A latte is a classic fit for you, Taurus, as you're a consistent force who can be counted on while maintaining that slow morning inner peace that's demanded of a sizable espresso-based beverage. Slowly sip your way into the day!
   
   

MACCHIATO

If you ask the average American what a macchiato is, nobody really knows. Is it a petite drink with a little bit of milk, or a floofy coffee milkshake with caramel, chocolate, and whipped cream? Its identity crisis is a constant throughout coffee shops everywhere, so as you try on your personalities in 2025, Gemini, consider being surprised by whichever version of a macchiato you're ordering.
   
   

CAPPUCCINO

Passionate and intuitive, at times uncommunicative, you tend to flow through both logical and emotional realms, so a cappuccino is perfect for you, Cancer. A thick layer of milk foam acts as the threshold where air meets espresso, like a crab crawling between land and sea. Or maybe that foam is just your exoskeleton.  There's a coffee goodness underneath all that foam if you can cut through! 
   
   

ESPRESSO MARTINI

You're a little wild, so why wouldn't you mix your caffeine into a jazzy cocktail for a fun time? Served in a classy glass bound to attract attention when you walk into the room, the espresso martini is a great fit for you and your pizzazz, Leo.
   
   

SINGLE ORIGIN CHEMEX POUR OVER

A Chemex is a classic brew method for getting the most out of your coffee, loved by connoisseurs and perfectionists everywhere. For Virgos who most likely are tracking their pour method, flow rates, grams in versus out, and brew temperatures, a gooseneck kettle and an Acacia Lunar scale can help you chart out your pours on a graph that you can transfer into one of your many spreadsheets.
   
   
 

ICED OAT VANILLA LATTE

A crowd pleaser and friend to all, the Iced Oatmilk Vanilla Latte is perfect for you, Libra, as you start your day balancing a wake-me-up bevvy with cute, sweet, and flirty vibes. 
   
   

BLACK COFFEE

Dark and elusive, you're like a black coffee, Scorpio, not just for the mysterious hue, but because nobody will be able to glean anything from your drink order. Is it a single origin, blend, decaf? Are you drinking burnt diner coffee or a fruity pour over? Are you just waking up or refueling from a night of brooding by candlelight? Nobody knows, and that's how you'd like it to stay.
   
   

UNDERTOW

Your life is like a quest, Sagittarius, so an undertow is the perfect drink for you as your fierce nature merges with your ability to draw a crowd. You're both exciting and charming, like a shot of cold milk, sweet vanilla, and hot espresso. Layered and consumed like a shot, it's an adventure of sensations you exemplify while living out your everyday.
   
   

CORTADO

Like a goat climbing up the side of a cliff face, you, Capricorn, are determined, maintaining balance in life to see the bigger picture, and at times you're a bit detached: If you've ever tried to look a goat in the eyes, it's kinda weird. Like a cortado, there's little wiggle room for error. The espresso shines through, so it has to be perfectly dialed, and too much or too little foam on the milk can topple the balance required for a great cortado. Let any element of a cortado linger too long before serving, and it gets cold.
   
   

FLAT WHITE

You're a practical innovator with big plans to change the world, Aquarius, so why get bogged down with unnecessary fluff? On a humanitarian mission, you only need what you need, which is just enough espresso to wake up and get moving paired with just enough steamed milk to stay soft without getting too attached to emotional foam. 
   
   

MOCHA

You're a romantic, so why not start your morning with dessert? Let the chocolate sugar rush take you and your Piscean sensitivities on a whimsical ride as you saunter (late, of course) to your day job as a full time daydreamer.

1 comment


  • This is amazing!

    C+S Crew on

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